underwear, music, photos, beer, mcdonalds = pretty good birthday

Yesterday I turned the big two seven. In celebration of turning the big two seven, I took the day off and lied around the house in my underwear all day, listening to old Mobb Deep and Outkast jams and looking at the 500+ photos that document the history of Missmo and Am. I was looking at the ones that were taken when we were 17, and I realized that that was 10 years ago, or an entire decade, but it really doesn't seem that long ago. And that was weird.
I skipped the gym and went to go see Mercy Creek with some friends at a bar in Virigina. I drank way too many Bud Lights (2 points each!), kissed an Iraq vet, and on the way home, stuffed a McDonalds chicken sandwich and a large order of fries down my throat (definitely not 2 points each). All in all it was a pretty good birthday. I did lots of indulging.

the health fairy hit me with her celery wand

You'd NEVER believe it, but I'm actually HEALTHY these days. Seriously. I quit smoking for real (except when I'm out drinking, but more about that later). I haven't bought a pack in over three weeks. And you know what? It's cool, man. The first couple of days sucked, but now I don't even think twice about it. Every now and then I'll get an urge, but then I picture myself standing outside in the DC cold smoking a cigarette, and it makes me feel all icky and I don't want one anymore. Who would have thought that me, Amy Frances, she who came out of the womb with a cigarette in one hand, a drink in the other, and stilletto heels, would feel "icky" about smoking cigarettes?

Also, I'm eating healthy. Like, cooking for the week on Sundays, eating lots of fruits and vegetables, drinking lots of water, and taking Viactiv calcium supplements. Yes, I said cooking. Turns out I can cook. Yesterday I made a cuban pork and sweet potato stew. Mmmmmm.
The calcium supplements are because I've also taken up running again. My goal is to run a 10k in May. I'm up to five miles per day on the treadmill, which consists of running four ten-minute miles and walking one mile. I feel fucking GREAT. I LOVE running. But, every now and then I'll get this dull pain in my ankles. I keep hearing the voice of old Mrs. Etterman, my legal secretary teacher, bitching at me that smoking cigarettes and drinking soda causes osteoporosis and when I get old my bones are going to crack in half. So now I'm scared, and I keep thinking that the ankle pain is osteoporosis because I smoked cigarettes and drank soda for too long. Hence, the calcium supplements.

Also, I stopped being a lush. Okay, maybe I get a little lushious still, but only once a week! I've cut the drinking back to once a week (never stopped to think that there were so many empty calories in alcohol!), which means that I indulge in a little nicotine once a week, even though I quit. It's good though. I have a few cigs with my drink, but I'm not feeling like I need to go to the store and buy a pack the next morning or something.
I told y'all I was becoming a new woman. So far, 2007 is turning out quite well.

new year, new woman (part deux)

I'm feelin' good, people. I have been a non-smoker for four whole days. This is really a huge deal. I started smoking cigarettes when I was 13, and I started smoking one pack per day when I was 16, and I've never quit for more than 12 hours. So four whole days is huge. And I feel great! I mean, there are times when I really want a cigarette. Like today, I was seriously contemplating going up to my bar and having a beer just so I could bum one cig off somebody.

"Just one - all I need is one, maaaaaan." (A la Basketball Diaries.)

But I didn't do it. I prevailed. Turns out I do have a little willpower!
In other updates, tomorrow I begin working towards the other half of the 2007 Action Plan - getting skinny. My new girlfriend L has made a pact with me that we shall both look ridiculously hot in a bikini by summertime so we can go to the beach in our bikinis and look ridiculously hot doing it. So, we are attending a Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow, which helped my mother become a skinny bitch, so that we can be skinny bitches and my mom won't be able to say shit to me like "Hey, try on all my old [fat] jeans. How do they fit? Oh, they're snug? No way! Hahahahaha!"

Also, I am purchasing a two-week trial membership at this big fancy gym from which I plan to haggle a sweet deal. I chose this gym not because of its fancy towel service, five million locations, or complementary personal trainer, but because of its group exercise classes. Specifically, non-contact boxing. With punching bags and shit. And non-contact kickboxing. I can't wait.

I say all this, but it is only 12 days into the new year. Get back to me at the end of the month and see where I'm at...

this month's "jugs" centerfold: the sexy entrepreneur

This weekend, I went up to beautiful Deep Creek Lake, Maryland with five fantastic friends to celebrate the infamous D.H.'s birthday. The celebration consisted of chicken soft tacos, coronas, bacardi, cheesecake, a marriage proposal (D.H. + P.C. = 2 lovas 2getha 4eva!), and board games. One of the board games we played was called "True Colors." Basically, you read a question off a card like "Which player is most likely to be behind in his or her bills?" or "Which player has the worst road rage?" and then you supposedly find out what all your friends really think of you. We didn't play the way the directions said to, because we're cool like that, and instead just read the question out loud, and whoever had the most votes "won" the card. I won two.
1. Which player would be the best candidate for the Apprentice?
2. Which player would be most likely to pose nude for a centerfold?
I was quite pleased with the results.

new year, new woman

I'm home* from Florida. Missmo left early this morning. The chaos that has been my life for the past two weeks has come to a screeching halt.

*Weird. I said "home from Florida" like it was nothing.

The past two weeks really has been a whirlwind of events. From Scotty extending his stay in Florida and greeting me at the front door when Missmo picked me up from the airport, to lying in bed yesterday afternoon and trying to recollect the blur of the Capitol Hill New Year's celebration the night before. It's been quite a ride. And not all good. Some of it was real bad.

I've also been doing a lot of perspective-finding. It's a new year – a whole twelve months of new opportunity to become a better me. A smoke-free, skinny jean-wearin', healthy, kick-ass lawyer who pursues her goals to fulfillment and looks hot in a bikini.

So here's to 2007…