from beach bunny to snow bunny

This week I saw snow for the third time in a decade. (I love saying "I saw snow for the [x] time in a decade.") It's such a novelty to me that you can catch me at the bus stop taking pictures of the brown, nasty slush with my camera phone and sending it to my mom and Missmo back home, as though it were magic super slush that contains diamonds and makes you skinny. I had two half snow days, which were so much better than hurricane days because there isn't really any danger during a snow day – you just chill in front of the fire and get to watch Oprah. The past three mornings, I've had to wear the snow boots that my mom gave me for Christmas, which has made me regret being annoyed that I had to drag them all the way from Florida to DC. Every day, I e-mail Missmo about the temperature (usually around 20) and the current weather conditions and she always responds with the temp in SW Florida (usually something around 78) and reminds me that she can and does go to the beach.

This sure ain't Kansas anymore.

This weekend I will try my hand at snowboarding. I have to purchase snowboarding gear because, of course, I own none, and I'm really nervous that I'm going to get the wrong shit because I don't know anything about winter sports and all the cool experienced snowboarders will laugh at me. Kinda like when it first started getting a little chilly here and I never wore a coat because I didn't know any better because I hadn't had to wear a coat in 13 years. That kind of thing.

I'm really excited, though, because I've been wanting to try snowboarding ever since I went up to Deep Creek Lake, MD in January. I keep fantasizing about how I'll be a natural, and all of the sudden I'll come down the mountain with my IPod in my ears in my functional yet stylish snowboarder outfit, in perfect snowboard chick form, and then do like this cool stop and all the snow will shoot up and there will be a crowd at the bottom of the hill and everyone will look at me like "Ohmygod, she's soooooo good," and I'll be like "What?" But in real life, I'll probably spend most of my time on my ass the first day, and there's a good chance that the second day I will wipe out bad and suffer a minor concussion.

saturday night blogging

Some completely random facts about me:
1. I was captain of my JV cheerleading squad in high school.
2. Shortly into football season, I was kicked off my JV cheerleading squad.
3. When I was about 5 or 6, I was convinced that my father was David Lee Roth.
4. Sometimes the sound of a banjo and fiddle makes my heart swell up in my chest.
5. My very first crush was Luke Skywalker.
6. Tom Sawyer was my second crush ever.
7. I didn't learn how to drive until I was 18.
8. One of the things at the top of my list of things to do is to swim with dolphins.
9. Skydiving used to also be something on my list, but in the past five years, I have developed a height phobia.
10. When I was 11, I made my little friends go with me to the Vietnam War Memorial in Manchester, Connecticut and tie yellow ribbons to the trees in support of the troops during Desert Storm.
11. I once knocked over the Christmas tree which caused half of my great-grandmother's antique glass ornaments to break, and I blamed the dog. (Not Dougie - this was way before him.)
12. Jordan Knight was my favorite New Kid on the Block.
13. I have met ?love from the Roots.
14. Until I was 19, I was convinced that it was my destiny to move to New York and marry a mobster.
15. When we were 17, a boy ran Missmo and me off the road and tried to kill us and totally terrified us.
16. In 1986, my mother and I drove all the way from Connecticut to Florida and listened to Bon Jovi and U2 the whole time.
17. I almost went to FSU. Because Tallahassee seemed like more of a party school.
18. When I got the solo in the school play in 5th grade, all the 6th grade girls were such bitches to me that I ended up telling the teacher I didn't want to do it.
19. I broke my very first car by doing 140 or something ridiculous across Alligator Alley. And it was a Mercury.
20. When I first moved to Florida in 1993, I lived on a sail boat on the city dock.

underwear, music, photos, beer, mcdonalds = pretty good birthday

Yesterday I turned the big two seven. In celebration of turning the big two seven, I took the day off and lied around the house in my underwear all day, listening to old Mobb Deep and Outkast jams and looking at the 500+ photos that document the history of Missmo and Am. I was looking at the ones that were taken when we were 17, and I realized that that was 10 years ago, or an entire decade, but it really doesn't seem that long ago. And that was weird.
I skipped the gym and went to go see Mercy Creek with some friends at a bar in Virigina. I drank way too many Bud Lights (2 points each!), kissed an Iraq vet, and on the way home, stuffed a McDonalds chicken sandwich and a large order of fries down my throat (definitely not 2 points each). All in all it was a pretty good birthday. I did lots of indulging.

the health fairy hit me with her celery wand

You'd NEVER believe it, but I'm actually HEALTHY these days. Seriously. I quit smoking for real (except when I'm out drinking, but more about that later). I haven't bought a pack in over three weeks. And you know what? It's cool, man. The first couple of days sucked, but now I don't even think twice about it. Every now and then I'll get an urge, but then I picture myself standing outside in the DC cold smoking a cigarette, and it makes me feel all icky and I don't want one anymore. Who would have thought that me, Amy Frances, she who came out of the womb with a cigarette in one hand, a drink in the other, and stilletto heels, would feel "icky" about smoking cigarettes?

Also, I'm eating healthy. Like, cooking for the week on Sundays, eating lots of fruits and vegetables, drinking lots of water, and taking Viactiv calcium supplements. Yes, I said cooking. Turns out I can cook. Yesterday I made a cuban pork and sweet potato stew. Mmmmmm.
The calcium supplements are because I've also taken up running again. My goal is to run a 10k in May. I'm up to five miles per day on the treadmill, which consists of running four ten-minute miles and walking one mile. I feel fucking GREAT. I LOVE running. But, every now and then I'll get this dull pain in my ankles. I keep hearing the voice of old Mrs. Etterman, my legal secretary teacher, bitching at me that smoking cigarettes and drinking soda causes osteoporosis and when I get old my bones are going to crack in half. So now I'm scared, and I keep thinking that the ankle pain is osteoporosis because I smoked cigarettes and drank soda for too long. Hence, the calcium supplements.

Also, I stopped being a lush. Okay, maybe I get a little lushious still, but only once a week! I've cut the drinking back to once a week (never stopped to think that there were so many empty calories in alcohol!), which means that I indulge in a little nicotine once a week, even though I quit. It's good though. I have a few cigs with my drink, but I'm not feeling like I need to go to the store and buy a pack the next morning or something.
I told y'all I was becoming a new woman. So far, 2007 is turning out quite well.

new year, new woman (part deux)

I'm feelin' good, people. I have been a non-smoker for four whole days. This is really a huge deal. I started smoking cigarettes when I was 13, and I started smoking one pack per day when I was 16, and I've never quit for more than 12 hours. So four whole days is huge. And I feel great! I mean, there are times when I really want a cigarette. Like today, I was seriously contemplating going up to my bar and having a beer just so I could bum one cig off somebody.

"Just one - all I need is one, maaaaaan." (A la Basketball Diaries.)

But I didn't do it. I prevailed. Turns out I do have a little willpower!
In other updates, tomorrow I begin working towards the other half of the 2007 Action Plan - getting skinny. My new girlfriend L has made a pact with me that we shall both look ridiculously hot in a bikini by summertime so we can go to the beach in our bikinis and look ridiculously hot doing it. So, we are attending a Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow, which helped my mother become a skinny bitch, so that we can be skinny bitches and my mom won't be able to say shit to me like "Hey, try on all my old [fat] jeans. How do they fit? Oh, they're snug? No way! Hahahahaha!"

Also, I am purchasing a two-week trial membership at this big fancy gym from which I plan to haggle a sweet deal. I chose this gym not because of its fancy towel service, five million locations, or complementary personal trainer, but because of its group exercise classes. Specifically, non-contact boxing. With punching bags and shit. And non-contact kickboxing. I can't wait.

I say all this, but it is only 12 days into the new year. Get back to me at the end of the month and see where I'm at...

this month's "jugs" centerfold: the sexy entrepreneur

This weekend, I went up to beautiful Deep Creek Lake, Maryland with five fantastic friends to celebrate the infamous D.H.'s birthday. The celebration consisted of chicken soft tacos, coronas, bacardi, cheesecake, a marriage proposal (D.H. + P.C. = 2 lovas 2getha 4eva!), and board games. One of the board games we played was called "True Colors." Basically, you read a question off a card like "Which player is most likely to be behind in his or her bills?" or "Which player has the worst road rage?" and then you supposedly find out what all your friends really think of you. We didn't play the way the directions said to, because we're cool like that, and instead just read the question out loud, and whoever had the most votes "won" the card. I won two.
1. Which player would be the best candidate for the Apprentice?
2. Which player would be most likely to pose nude for a centerfold?
I was quite pleased with the results.

new year, new woman

I'm home* from Florida. Missmo left early this morning. The chaos that has been my life for the past two weeks has come to a screeching halt.

*Weird. I said "home from Florida" like it was nothing.

The past two weeks really has been a whirlwind of events. From Scotty extending his stay in Florida and greeting me at the front door when Missmo picked me up from the airport, to lying in bed yesterday afternoon and trying to recollect the blur of the Capitol Hill New Year's celebration the night before. It's been quite a ride. And not all good. Some of it was real bad.

I've also been doing a lot of perspective-finding. It's a new year – a whole twelve months of new opportunity to become a better me. A smoke-free, skinny jean-wearin', healthy, kick-ass lawyer who pursues her goals to fulfillment and looks hot in a bikini.

So here's to 2007…