an ode to my roommate

SHE'S SO FUNNY SOMETIIMES I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT

I was going to hold off on this blog until I had a longer list of funny things that she has said, but here are just a few. As you are reading these, please keep in mind that she has a very strong South Carolina accent.

1. I didn't come here to fuck around with no yogurt. (At the National Barbeque Cookoff in downtown DC this past weekend, in response to a woman offering free samples of yogurt.)

2. Me (to an unintersting man at the bar): My my cousin [whatever I decided her name was for the night]. She has her Ph.D. in feminist studies from Yale.
Jane: Uh-huh. I hate bras!

3. Whooooo!!!! Yeah!!!! Whatever he said!!!! (Holding her beer up, in response to something somebody at the bar said which elicited a round of cheers from a group of men sitting at the bar but had nothing to do with us.)

4. Wy-yyyyy? (Supposed to be "why?" but always two syllables whenever she says it.)

CHOCOLATE, ANYONE?

How about a honey truffle with a piece of real 24-karat gold on top?

No? How about a lavander truffle, then, with real organic lavendar buds on top?

Oh, you don't like that? How about chocolate covered passion fruit-infused caramel? Or how about you just dip your spoon in the caramel?

What about a coffe-rum truffle that contains a whole shot of rum and a hazel nut on top?

Chocolate covered peanut bark? Anyone? How about for breakfast?

We have finally reached the point in our relationship where I am allowed to help garnish the truffles that she makes in our very own kitchen. Last night, whilst jamming out to the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack and Michale Buble jams, I was allowed to put the little pieces of gold on the honey truffles. Then I got to sprinkle the lavander truffles with the real lavander. Then, I got to put the hazelnuts on the coffee rum ones. It was so fun. Then I got to eat them. The lavander ones are my favorite. Very unique.

So much for dropping 15 pounds by the end of summer...

NOTE TO JANE: LEAVING ME HOME ALONE ALL DAY WITH ALL SORTS OF CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES = NOT A GOOD IDEA.