the bennigan's parking lot incident of 2005 (well, one of them)

Missmo and I were on the phone last night, and we were laughing about the drunken incident that I talked a little bit about in this week's Silly Bitches Association of America (SBAA) survey. We both decided that to really appreciate the story, you must know the whole thing. We think it's hysterical now, although that night neither of us thought that there was a damn thing funny about it. Those of you who know us will see the humor in the story too, we believe.

So let me give you a little background. I was home for Christmas break, and I had met this dude (go figure – a dude causing trouble) who, for reasons that are far beyond the scope of this post, Missmo DID NOT like. But I liked him. I liked him a whole lot. So the one night we went to Bennigan's, which believe it or not is the Bonita Springs premier hot spot, and he was there. So I got on the vanilla Stoli and Diet Coke, and Missmo got on the Citron and cranberry, and next thing you know, I'm all at the bar with this dude, chatting him up all night and Missmo's running around Bennigan's, growing more and more unhappy with the situation.

So then the lights come on and it's time to go, and I go and find Missmo, or she finds me, whatever, and she turns around to me and she's like "They [the dude and his cousin] are scumbags and I told them that." So I'm like "What? Why would you do that?" And she's like "Cuz, Am, they're scumbags." And then I'm all "Missmo, why are you being such a hater? You are being such a hater right now." And what's really funny about that is that I was using the term "HATER" in all seriousness, and it was just pissing Missmo off that anybody, especially me, would call her a hater. So I can't really remember what was said after that, but I remember standing in the Bennigan's parking lot, telling her that I didn't care, I wasn't getting in the car with her because she was being SUCH a hater, and I was just going to get a cab.

So next thing you know, I'm standing in front of Bennigan's, waiting for my cab, nose all up in the air and shit, and she pulls up. First it's all civil, and she's using an appropriate volume, and she's like "Amy, come on. Get in the car." And I'm all "No." And that just pissed her off even more (she's a fire sign) so then she busted out with the "AMY [MIDDLE NAME] [LAST NAME]! YOU GET IN THIS GODDAMNED CAR RIGHT NOW, I SAID!!!" So now everybody who knows her, picture Missmo in the front of Bennigan's, leaning into the passenger side of the Benzito, and screaming at me with the finger all pointing at me and shit. And then me in front of Bennigan's, arms folded in front of me, nose up in the air, pretending like I can't hear her. In front of Bennigan's, I said.

Well, eventually I actually did get in the car and she did drive me home. We screamed at each other the whole way home. I mean, the whooooole way.

I'm giggling right now because anybody who knows us knows that this is so unlike us. This is actually the one and only time we had a huge argument like that, and we've been as close as we are now for a decade. (I love saying that). Anybody who doesn't know us and witnessed this might have thought we were lovers or something the way we were carrying on. We know that really we're sisters, and we can scream at each other and say nasty things to each other (i.e., "I can't believe you're breaking up with me over a boy!" "I'm not breaking up with you!" "Well I'm breaking up with you!") and it doesn't change a thing because we got it like that.
So the next day, I waited til like noon and called her, and of course, everything was fine. It was like "You pissed me off last night." "Well you pissed me off." "Well, want to come over?" And, it turns out that she didn't really tell the dude and his cousin that they were scumbags. That's just what I thought she said. So actually, I was being the HATER that night.