i hate me a tourist

This morning was supposed to be one of the most exciting experiences of my life. I was supposed to sit in on a US Supreme Court argument. Not only that, but I was supposed to sit in on a case that involved an issue that I argued in my national moot court competition last year.

But the TOURISTS ruined it all. I got there an hour before seating began, and the line was already huge. And it was full of TOURISTS. So when they cut off the line for the people admitted for the morning argument, and I watched them all go in there with their stupid "Washington, DC" t-shirts, it was all I took not to tackle them down and scream "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT STIRONE AND COTTON AND NEDER?!??!?!? I BET YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT AN INDICTMENT IS!!!!"

I did get to do the three-minute tour, though. Once I got through security and I stood in that huge, grand marble hall waiting to be let in the courtroom, I actually got butterflies in my stomach. And when they let us in, and I saw all nine justices sitting up there, the lush red velvet drapes behind them, the whole thing took my breath away. I mean, I spent the last three years of my life studying this place, and then I was there. I immediately recognized Ginsberg and Roberts and Thomas and Scalia and Alito. I was so excited I almost burst. The Government was arguing, which is the side that I argued at my competition, and I was pleased to hear a touch of one of the arguments I had made. Ginsberg asked a question, and then I almost wanted to wrestle the Government lawyer from the podium and answer myself. "Yes, Justice Ginsberg, that is correct. However, this Court must keep in mind that..." Ahhh...I can see it now...

Anyway, the issue dealt with the omission of an element of a crime from an indictment, and I'm pretty positive that the Court will rule in favor of the Government, given its conservative disposition. Scalia and Roberts didn't ask any questions as I sat there, and I was sure it was because they both had already made up their minds. But then, when the guard indicated that our three minutes were up and we needed to leave, and as my heart fell to the ground, ROBERTS ASKED A QUESTION. AND I DIDN'T HEAR IT. I was so mad! Of course, all the stupid TOURISTS with their stupid gay t-shirts got to hear it, but by then they probably were sitting there all smug and shit, tuning out the entire thing because they had no idea what the fuck was going on anyway.

ARRRRRRRRGH!!!!!