reasons why i shouldn't have passed the bar (BUT I DID!!!)

I PASSED, bitches.

But now looking back at it, I can't hardly believe that I actually passed. And this is why:

1. Often times, I brought my Barbri books up to my restaurant and studied for the bar at the bar.

2. I didn't attend either of the torts lectures. Didn't even bother to go down to the Barbri office and make them up. Shit, I didn't even read the torts section of the Barbri outline.

3. Come to think of it, I hardly ever read that Barbri outline.

4. Actually, I probably didn't do anything they told me to do.

5. Missmo and I got kicked out of the marine barracks at 3 a.m. two weeks before the exam.

6. What the fuck is an equitable mortgage?

7. I kept telling myself "Well, if I don't pass, I'll just lie and tell everyone I did pass and just take it again in secret."*

8. I kept telling myself "Well, I'll really buckle down come July." Then July 1 came and I was all "Well, I still have like a month." And then one week til the exam came and I was like "Well, if I study 8 hours every day, I'll be fine." And then I was all "Well, 8 hours is really a long time. Four hours will cut it." And then it was "Well, I've been at it two hours. I'm tired. I need a nap."

9. THE RULE AGAINST PERPETUITIES.

*But really, I really did pass. No, really. I did.